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Posts Tagged: Growth

Restricted Growth: The Butterfly in a Kevlar Cocoon

Up until recently, the volume of information that I have had to deal with has been manageable and I haven’t felt as though anything was interfering with my growth. However, that’s beginning to change.

As the volume of information I consume increases, the volume of stuff I want to get out — ideas, things I want to learn, stuff I want to create or share — seems to increase exponentially. Trying to manage this torrent of stuff, both incoming and outgoing, on a day-to-day basis leaves my head feeling cloudy and disorganized — just thinking about it is overwhelming.

I’m beginning to recognize certain aspects of my life that are growing out of control and some that need obvious improvement.
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Choose Happiness and Growth

There are few things in life that are absolutely, one hundred percent, guaranteed. Death is one of those things. Take a moment to think about that. Every single one of us, no matter how smart, rich, or popular, every single one of us is going to die. The flesh and organic matter that is this body is guaranteed to one day cease to exist.

It’s not just us either. Everything ends one day. Even this Earth will be gone, most likely consumed by the sun when it expands to a red giant billions of years from now. The entire universe, with all the planets, stars, and galaxies, will also be gone one day. And while it will probably happen a lot sooner, we can be certain that any memory of our existence will also gone when the universe goes.

The bottom line is this: You can be guaranteed that every single thing you see, think, do, or create, every single person you know or have heard of, every single place you’ve been or know about, will one day cease to exist.

So what does all this have to do with happiness? Well, if we can be assured that we’ll all die one day and that everything will eventually be gone, then it’s safe to assume that the only reason for existence is to experience life while it’s here.

So what’s life? Well, we know that death most often brings sadness and is associated with the ending of progression, so this would mean that life, being the polar opposite of death, should be associated with happiness and growth. I propose that choosing anything less than happiness and growth in our life is associating ourselves with death and thereby ignoring life.

This should give no one any reason to accept anything in life that constrains their own happiness or growth (whether mental, physical, or spiritual) or enables the constraint of others’ happiness or growth. To do either of these is to disregard, neglect, and eschew life itself.

Life is our chance. It’s our small window of opportunity. Our situations may vary and our circumstances may differ, but we all have the ability to make a conscious, day-to-day decision to strive for happiness over sadness; for growth over stagnation; for life over death.

Choose happiness. When something upsets you — the car in front of you cuts you off; you feel yourself getting agitated; someone is rude or unpleasant towards you; things just don’t seem to be going your way — make a conscious decision to let it go and choose happiness. Don’t let your circumstances become an excuse not to be happy. You’re alive right now. That’s the only reason you need to be happy.

Choose growth. Do you feel as though you’re a better version of yourself today than you were yesterday? If you don’t, then it’s time to make a conscious decision to do something to improve yourself every single day. Stop watching so much TV. Stop oversleeping. Do something every day to improve your health (both mental and physical!). Small changes over a long period always equate to a greater overall change. As long as you’re living, you should be growing. Stagnation is for death.

It’s your life! What will you do with it?

Do one thing every day that scares you

Yesterday my parents badly needed sand because their big driveway was covered in sheer ice. Many people have told me that as long as I was a Lowell resident I could get free sand from a particular Lowell Public Works yard. (It’s actually better than regular sand because it’s a salt/sand mixture they use on the public roads.) I’ve seen plenty of municipal plow trucks drive down the long dirt road to the yard but never any non-municipal trucks, so I was always hesitant to check it out. None of us really has the money to spend on bags and bags of sand or salt from Home Depot, so filling my truck with free sand would be really helpful for everyone.

I’m not a Lowell resident anymore (I used to own three rental properties in Lowell but I live in NH now) however my truck still has a Massachusetts license plates. For many years I’ve imagined the worst possible outcome for driving down that long dirt road to get sand. I imagined armed guards with guns ready to fire upon me for trespassing, getting arrested by the police, etc, etc. Then yesterday, after realizing the worst possible thing that could actually happen (of all the most likely bad things) would be for someone to simply tell me “no, the sand is for city use only”, I finally built up the courage to drive down the road to see if I could get some free sand.

The yard was empty. There were no armed guards with guns ready to fire upon me. There were no gates preventing me from passing. In fact, there weren’t even any signs that said “No Trespassing” or “Official Use Only” and not a single person in sight to stop me! I drove up to the huge pile of sand, filled my truck, and drove away. That’s when it hit me. If I had only built up the courage to do something that had very little risk associated with it, I could have had access to free sand for all my rental properties for the past 6 years! As I drove away from the huge pile of sand, I remembered a quote by Eleanor Roosevelt: “Do one thing every day that scares you.”

Comfort makes us feel good; it’s relaxing and it allows us to enjoy life. Unfortunately like many narcotics comfort has a nasty side-effect; too much of it leads to the exact opposite: discomfort. It should, therefore, be used in moderation (like everything else in life) and we should not use it as a constant destination. The destination of every moment should be the growth and gratitude of this life.

Staying within our comfort zone limits our ability to grow and learn. Niels Bohr, a Nobel Prize winning Danish physicist who made fundamental contributions to understanding atomic structure and quantum mechanics said, “An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field.” Nobody is comfortable making mistakes, but if mistakes are such a vital component to advancing our growth then we need to embrace doing things that scare us; we need to embrace doing things that make us feel uncomfortable so that we can live richer, fuller lives, instead of living a life of fear, worry, and uncertainty.

It’s no doubt a scary thing to intentionally do something that makes us feel uncomfortable; to intentionally do something where the outcome or consequences are unknown. However, if we recognize that much of the fear comes from our own subconscious playing out the worst possible outcome, the outcome that is probably less likely to happen than lightning striking us from inside an office building, then we can quickly overcome our fears and grow in amazing ways.

Doing something every day that scares you may be quite a challenge but just try to think of all the little things that you don’t do every day simply because you’re afraid or because you’re uncertain of their outcome. Saying hello to the cute girl who works in an adjacent office, taking an alternate route to a frequent destination down roads you’ve never traveled, selling something you don’t use but think you’ll eventually need, being extra friendly to a family member who you’ve never gotten along with, standing up to your boss or manager when you know you’re right. I’m sure if you think carefully you can find plenty of harmless things you’ve avoided simply out of fear of the unknown.

Be more open to new experiences and grab life by the horns. Get out of your comfort zone and face challenges head on. Do one thing every day that scares you. Don’t be afraid to learn something new about yourself or to change something about who you think you are as a person. But remember, as Mrs. Roosevelt also said, “Learn from the mistakes of others. You can’t live long enough to make them all yourself.”

Evolve or Die

I have long accepted my limited social abilities and, for lack of any good reason other than convenience, avoided any situations that may expose me to new social interactions. Limited social interaction alone would not normally be such a bad thing, but when it leads to neglecting interpersonal communication, especially with those you love, the end result can be disastrous and detrimental to life itself.

The Kalabarian analysis of my name says the following about my weaknesses:

Often I am so fired up about my own projects or goals that I inadvertently run over or ignore other people’s feelings and interests. Being receptive and appreciative of others’ contributions, ideas, and feelings would go a long way in improving my relationships.

Weaknesses should not be something to accept and ignore, but rather a guide for what needs the most attention! From this day onward, I will make a conscious effort to improve my interactions with others and learn to value any opportunities to improve my interpersonal communication skills.

To evolve or die means to learn to meet new challenges as they arise and overcome them or to remain stubborn and inflexible. We need to apply this lesson to our own self-imposed limitations in life. If we accept those limitations and let them define us, we exponentially decrease our potential for growth. We should not learn to accept who we are, but rather learn to accept that we are limitless beings.

Edit: I should mention that in this context to evolve means to continuously adapt and face challenges in life. To die means to live in a box and accept your perceived limitations.

Believe in Possibility

In bodybuilding, it is known that you should always work your weakest muscle first. If your biceps are weak but your triceps are strong, always working your triceps first will leave you little energy to work and build your biceps — your biceps will remain weak.

Similarly, when advancing our knowledge and intelligence it would make most sense to concentrate on those things which we find most difficult — doing so would insure we live to our highest potential and do not become highly limited in our abilities.

Believing we have limits, and doubting the possibility of that which we cannot even imagine, greatly limits the extent to what we can accomplish. After all, believing something is possible is the first step in making it a reality. Christopher Columbus sailed across the ocean, Thomas Edison created the light bulb, and the Wright Brothers successfully proved manned flight was possible, by having strong belief in their possibility.

As human beings, we not only have the unique ability to make conscious decisions, but to take something unbelievable and believe it is possible. This leads us to discovery, invention, learning, and the self-improvement. It is our belief that we know everything which prevents us from discovering and learning new things. It is said that there are so few things left to be invented now-a-days, but I believe it’s the vast wealth of information available to us that is restricting our creative energies. We’re constantly reminded of how much we already know and how much we, as a human race, have learned and discovered.

Martin Cooper invented the cell phone after watching some of the first episodes of Star Trek. He saw Captain Kirk communicate wirelessly using the communicator and said, “Why not? That should be reality!”. The cell phones carried around today are even more advanced than the “science fiction” communicator used in Star Trek.

Believe in possibility.

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