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The Annual Placebo Effect

It happens every year. The smiles, the handshakes, and the family get-togethers. The gifts, the goal-setting, the reviews, the time made for deep reflection. We feel a sense of passage, a sense of movement, possibly even a climactic transition from one moment to another.

Sometimes it’s a birthday or an anniversary or the remembrance of a historical date. Sometimes it’s the transition to a new year.

But what’s a date, really? It’s a system for tracking time, a system that a group of people agreed to use for communication. There isn’t only one system and this isn’t just the year 2011.

1460 (Armenian)
6761 (Assyrian)
1418 (Bengali)
2961 (Berber)
2555 (Buddhist)
1373 (Burmese)
7520 (Byzantine)
1728 (Coptic)
2004 (Ethiopian)
5772 (Hebrew)
2068 (Hindu Vikram Samvat)
12011 (Holocene)
1390 (Iranian)
1433 (Islamic)
4344 (Korean)
100 (Minguo)
2554 (Thai solar)
2011 (Gregorian)

Many of us have agreed to use the Gregorian calendar system, but does that really mean today or tomorrow holds anything special? In another calendaring system, today could represent the middle of the year, not the end. On another planet, all of these systems would become meaningless.

One year on Mars is actually 686 days on Earth.

One year on Pluto is 247 years on Earth.

Our entire concept of time only works on this infinitesimal blue dot, in the minds of people who agree to the systems in place. And yet every year billions of people are affected. They’re changed, moved, and motivated to act, think, and behave differently. 

By what? A date? A thing that is entirely arbitrary?

No. We’re changed, moved, and motivated because we choose to be. The moment we choose is the moment it becomes reality. It has nothing to do with a number.

There’s no need to wait for an agreed upon date. You’re alive today. Let’s recognize today. Let’s choose to celebrate today. Let’s choose to celebrate now. Seize the moment, every moment. It’s new.

Lighten Your Life

Life is not an ever-growing collection of successes and failures. It’s not a bag of decisions, opinions, mistakes, or mishaps, or a rucksack full of bricks that you’re condemned to drag through the sludges of time.

Life is more like the stroke of a paintbrush, emptying itself of all that clings to it and refining its precision with the passage of time. It’s the vessel that exists to hold water, effortlessly releasing its contents to the next destination.

It’s important to remember that not every destination can be reached by a well-paved path: some destinations require taking flight. When it’s time to fly you just can’t fill a giant bag with everything in your life and expect that plane to soar.

If where you’re going is important, decide what really matters and take responsibility for your freedom. Hold tight to everything and everyone that will support your voyage and let go of everything else. Embrace your essence and when there is doubt let love lighten your load: a life painted in love outweighs a voyage completed unprepared.

This Moment

Close encounters with death are the ultimate reminder that each day, each breath, is indeed a gift, a precious privilege that we must respect and protect, a reminder that each moment is an opportunity to express the qualities we are worthy and responsible for living, qualities of courage, curiosity, compassion, kindness, and creativity; qualities of strength, intelligence, peace, love, and humility.

This isn’t an opportunity we can waste. It’s not something we can put aside until we have more time. We must use this moment to live with zest, with vigor, and with veracious valor. We must use this moment to express what it means to be a living breathing human being. We must use this moment to live fearlessly responsible for life because the next reminder we get may not leave us with another moment.

A Gift from Yesterday

Today creates a world of its own, a world open to redefining what it means to be alive. It’s unique from yesterday, not a point in time but rather a canvas stretching from here to the end of eternity, a giant etch-a-sketch wiped clean by the darkness and illuminated by the light of those souls who inspire, move, and motivate us to step forward.

Each day is a small evolution, a bundle of hope and joy waiting to unfold; a new opportunity, a blank slate, a fresh page, and a new chapter in life. But today is special. Today is special because today is a care package handed to us with the same love and compassion that a parent cradles a newborn baby.

Embrace yourself. Right now. It’s okay, no one is watching. Close your eyes and wrap your arms around yourself. Give yourself a big hug. Feel those hands on your back, warm, soft, and gentle. Melt into that embrace.

That person loves you more than anyone ever could. That person will be with you forever, even on your deathbed. That person loves you so much that you’re being handed the best gift that has ever been given. The gift of today.

The Circle of Life

“I’m from Germany,” she said with a smile.

“I was seventeen when I got married and I went to visit the United States shortly after that.”

The complexion on her face suddenly changed and her smile disappeared. “When I returned home a year later my husband went off to the Korean War.”

There was a pause and she seemed to hesitate with the next few words.

“He never came back.”

“I was a widow at eighteen… so young…” Her voice drifted off into the distance and I could see in her eyes that she was reliving a life that seemed so distant and so far away.

Rosie was in her mid-70s but her beautiful blue eyes and lively attitude made her seem twenty years younger. She sat alone during her lunch break, quietly staring out the window watching people come and go from the store where she worked.

I had been using the cafe in the store as my makeshift office and after making eye contact and exchanging smiles several times, we began striking up random conversations.

Spontaneously sharing deep thoughts about life and the lessons it teaches us, our conversations seemed like an odd interaction between two strangers who were separated by nearly forty years of life experience.

A few days later I went to my sisters’ house to hang out with my brother-in-law and my one-year-old nephew. When night fell, we started a campfire in the backyard and brought my nephew out to see it.

In the darkness his face glowed orange and he smiled so big that his tiny teeth shown through. As if witnessing a never ending stream of magic, he looked up at his dad and pointed at the fire in awe.

I’ve sat around perhaps hundreds of campfires in my lifetime, but my nephew was experiencing one for the first time.

Over the course of his life, how many campfires will he sit around? Since the dawn of mankind, how many times has this process repeated itself?

Listening to Rosie tell her wartime stories had made me realize how much had occurred before I was even born. Now I was looking at my nephew and realizing the exact same thing, only this time I was the older one.

It’s easy to forget that our entire bodily existence is an infinitesimal moment in time, a single raindrop in the sea of eternity. We subconsciously focus on our little slice because it’s so much easier to digest. It solidifies the reality around us and makes us feel in control.

But it’s important to remember that many others have come before us and that may others will come after us. This greater perspective allows us to see what’s real. It allows us to be aware of the precious time we have left and appreciate the things that are really important.

No matter how difficult our situation or how many challenges we may face, there’s no point in wasting time soaking ourselves in depression. We all struggle and experience loss, but it’s our attitude that determines how we live, not our circumstances.

Watching my nephew stare at that fire, I remembered Rosie’s attitude and the important thoughts she left with me.

As if sensing the empathy I felt towards her story, she said in an insistent tone “But life is good!”

“My father-in-law, who I’ve seen perhaps only twice since the war, reconnected with me a few weeks ago. We talked for hours. For so many years we didn’t know each other and now we have so much in common and so many stories to share.”

Her beautiful smile returned. “It’s the circle of life. Everything changes, turns, and loops back around again.”

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