I have asked myself this very question time and time again ” What’s the purpose of life?”.
The possibility that my life could have no purpose scares the hell out of me, so I look for answers. Mainly to find a reason to actually live on. A few days ago I wrote a bit about it and thought I should share my policy. I hope it helps people the way it has helped me.
Sky diving, travelling around the world, owning a billion dollars, having sex with a celebrity, and the list goes on for the things that people want to do or achieve before they die. Yet, I want nothing of these. I lie down and gaze at the stars, and I wonder, I wonder why i’m alive, why i’m here and what purpose i’m supposed to fulfil. After having failed to come up with a perfectly rational explanation from the skies above, I looked deep inside myself. I asked myself why I wanted to live and what I wanted out of it. Then and there, I knew that I had found my way. It’s as if i’m lost in a dark tunnel, and I had just found the way to the light. Indeed, it’s a long and hard road to take, but I would rather attempt to reach it than rot in the dark.
We all have our own light to reach out to, but to find it, that’s the hard part. People may speak of religion and powers beyond our imagination to lead them the way, it gives them that secure feeling that they are not lost but on the right path, which is why it is so hard for them to let go or question it when it does not make sense to their own rational minds. Why rely on other things when the answer is deep inside each and every one of us.
Most people just want to take the easy way out, so they would rather follow an already paved road than pave one themselves. But what meaning or purpose would that result in ? That makes two kinds of people out there …
The ones who know exactly what they want and how to get to it, and the ones who just sail through life meaninglessly hoping for the best. So, who do you want to be? The choice is yours as it has always been and always will be.
Actions, being triggered mostly by emotions and self logic, define who we are. But what makes us sleep at night ? A clean conscious or a drunk one that hides all our emotions? There were nights when I cried myself to sleep, or worried till the early morning when I finally slept to the sound of birds singing. I ask myself why, and the only answer is that I wasn’t satisfied with myself at the time, the feeling that I have failed myself is too painful to withstand. But just as bad as I feel at those times, there is nothing more satisfying than to sleep with a clean conscious. Peacefully and happily. Knowing that your life is on the right track. I just hope that when the time comes for me to close my eyes for the very last time and into my eternal sleep, I would have that feeling of having done good in my life, that I have passed my own path of righteousness and reached the light, that I would die with a clean conscious.