Notes: Letters to a Young Poet – Letter 2

Written between 1902 and 1908, "Letters To A Young Poet are ten letters written to a young man about to enter the German military. His name was Franz Kappus, he was 19 years old, and he wrote Rilke looking for guidance and a critique of some of his poems. Rilke was himself only 27 when the first letter was written. The resulting five year correspondence is a virtual owner's manual on what it is (and what is required) to be an artist and a person."

While you can purchase the book, you can also find the full set of letters online for free. I've been going through them slowly and keeping track of my favorite passage from each letter. I'll be sharing those passages here over the next few weeks.

Here's my favorite passage from Letter 2, written April 5, 1903:

Irony: Don't let yourself be controlled by it, especially during uncreative moments. When you are fully creative, try to use it, as one more way to take hold of fife. Used purely, it too is pure, and one needn't be ashamed of it; but if you feel yourself becoming too familiar with it, if you are afraid of this growing familiarity, then turn to great and serious objects, in front of which it becomes small and helpless. Search into the depths of Things: there, irony never descends and when you arrive at the edge of greatness, find out whether this way of perceiving the world arises from a necessity of your being. For under the influence of serious Things it will either fall away from you (if it is something accidental), or else (if it is really innate and belongs to you) it will grow strong, and become a serious tool and take its place among the instruments which you can form your art with.

Notes: Letters to a Young Poet – Letter 1

When I met Lisa Rigano earlier this year she recommended that I read Letters to a Young Poet, and I'm really glad she did because these letters are a goldmine of wisdom.

Here's my favorite passage from Letter 1:

Don't write love poems; avoid those forms that are too facile and ordinary: they are the hardest to work with, and it takes a great, fully ripened power to create something individual where good, even glorious, traditions exist in abundance. So rescue yourself from these general themes and write about what your everyday life offers you; describe your sorrows and desires, the thoughts that pass through your mind and your belief in some kind of beauty Describe all these with heartfelt, silent, humble sincerity and, when you express yourself, use the Things around you, the images from your dreams, and the objects that you remember. If your everyday life seems poor, don't blame it; blame yourself; admit to yourself that you are not enough of a poet to call forth its riches; because for the creator there is no poverty and no poor, indifferent place. And even if you found yourself in some prison, whose walls let in none of the world's sound - wouldn't you still have your childhood, that jewel beyond all price, that treasure house of memories? Turn your attention to it. Try to raise up the sunken feelings of this enormous past; your personality will grow stronger, your solitude will expand and become a place where you can live in the twilight, where the noise of other people passes by, far in the distance. And if out of , this turning within, out of this immersion in your own world, poems come, then you will not think of asking anyone whether they are good or not. Nor will you try to interest magazines in these works: for you will see them as your dear natural possession, a piece of your life, a voice from it. A work of art is good if it has arisen out of necessity. That is the only way one can judge it.

Notes: How to engage in lifestyle design

Vic Phillips invited me to contribute to a post he was putting together called '20 Ways to Engage in DIY Health and Lifestyle Change – Advice from Digital Thinkers'. I'm including my contribution below, but please check out the full post for lots of other great advice.

If you desire lifestyle change, envision what your life would look like today if you were already living that change. Instead of working from the outside in — instead of thinking about how much your current lifestyle needs to change to get where you want to be — work from the inside out. What would the changed you do today? How would that person act, think, and behave?

Imagine your entire life instantly transformed, all your ambitions, goals, and dreams fully realized. What might you then consider important? How would that person look back at the you of today and what advice might you offer yourself? Now using that perspective, ask yourself what you can do today to step towards that lifestyle. You might discover that what previously felt like insurmountable challenges suddenly feels almost trivial.

Notes: "To say 'I love you' one must first know how to say the 'I'."

Amit Sonawane writes about a letter received by Ayn Rand:

In May of 1948, author Ayn Rand received a letter from a fan named Joanne Rondeau. In it, she asked Rand to explain a sentence in her bestselling 1943 novel, The Fountainhead, which reads:

To say 'I love you' one must first know how to say the 'I'.

Rand responded with the following letter.
(Source: Little Big Book Of Life)

May 22, 1948
Dear Ms. Rondeau:

You asked me to explain the meaning of my sentence in The Fountainhead: "To say 'I love you' one must first know how to say the 'I."

The meaning of that sentence is contained in the whole of The Fountainhead. And it is stated right in the speech on page 400 from which you took the sentence. The meaning of the "I" is an independent, self-sufficient entity that does not exist for the sake of any other person.

A person who exists only for the sake of his loved one is not an independent entity, but a spiritual parasite. The love of a parasite is worth nothing.

The usual (and very vicious) nonsense preached on the subject of love claims that love is self-sacrifice. A man's self is his spirit. If one sacrifices his spirit, who or what is left to feel the love? True love is profoundly selfish, in the noblest meaning of the word — it is an expression of one's highest values. When a person is in love, he seeks his own happiness — and not his sacrifice to the loved one. And the loved one would be a monster if she wanted or expected such sacrifice.

Any person who wants to live for others — for one sweetheart or for the whole of mankind — is a selfless nonentity. An independent "I" is a person who exists for his own sake. Such a person does not make any vicious pretense of self-sacrifice and does not demand it from the person he loves. Which is the only way to be in love and the only form of a self-respecting relationship between two people.

Ayn Rand

This is a lesson that took me many years (and a few relationships) to learn, but it's a lesson so incredibly important that I felt compelled to share this note here.

It's so easy to lose ourselves -- to neglect ourselves -- in the name of love or selflessness. The greatest gift we can give the world is to embrace who we are, thoroughly and without reservation. Until we do that, our gifts are a cheap excuse for mediocrity.

Notes: Counter the Counter-Culture

In a recent letter, Sandra Pawula writes about being wary of simply accepting easily dispensed advice:

I will - at times - be counter the counter-culture. But not because I actively ascribe to the traditional mores. I know it's all in earnest and who am I to judge. But sometimes, I find it hard to swallow too easily dispensed advice in the new standard of 160 characters.

A "wisdom" tweet recently advised, "Don't work a job that is too small for your spirit."

I replied, "If your spirit is big, is there a job that is too small?"

Advice for my Future Self

He looked noticeably older, a little worn, but utterly calm with a presence that seemed to exude experience, awareness, and most of all a sense of confidence. He seemed a lot more laid back and easygoing than my present self.

I was sitting at a small coffee table in Kathmandu, Nepal and I had looked up from my laptop to find myself, twenty years in the future, sitting right across from me.

As I stared in disbelief, he leaned back and eased into the chair. His eyes smiled and he looked over me, as if he was inspecting a rare artifact.

"I'm you", he said with a bit of humor in his voice, "twenty years in the future. I only have a few minutes and I'd like to hear what advice you can give me." Continue reading →

7 Pieces of Advice for my Younger Self

Raam Dev at Age Three

My upcoming ebook (due out by the end of this month) wouldn't be possible without the incredible contributions I've been receiving from bloggers and non-bloggers alike (thank you!).

Creating something for a good cause that brings together the collective knowledge of so many individuals is exactly the type of project I want to be apart of, so when a new friend on Twitter, Abubakar Jamil, invited me to contribute to a free ebook he's putting together, I felt it would be the perfect opportunity to give back to the community.

Abubakar's ebook will be a compilation of life lessons and advice from various bloggers and non-bloggers. The Life Lessons Series project already has over twenty contributors and the combined volume of knowledge and advice is incredible.

My good friend Farnoosh Brock, whose own list of life lessons is an absolute goldmine of advice, emailed me yesterday to make sure I was writing this post. I must say, there's nothing quite like receiving motivation and support from someone you've never actually met. Continue reading →

How to make drinking water a lot easier

Last year, I wrote a lengthly post about why its so necessary to drink more water. Drinking water isn't really a problem for me, its simply remembering to drink it.

I discovered that if you simply always have a bottle of water on your desk, or within reach of where you work, it will require nothing more than the thought "I could use some water" to grab your water bottle and drink some water (maybe even leave the cap off!). But if you have to get up and walk somewhere just to get some water, you're a lot less likely to do it.

I like to buy a single 1.5 liter Poland Spring bottle of water and simply make sure I refill it once during the day. That means I'll get at least 100oz of water per day. At the end of the week, I toss out the bottle and buy a new one (reusing the bottle too many times can eventually cause toxins in the plastic to release into the water).

Motivational Fitness & Health Advice

I found something I had written for a friend a few months ago (last October, actually) when he asked for fitness advice. I find my own advice, written at a time when I had a regular workout routine, motivating me to start my regular routine once again. There are many reasons (excuses) why I've let my routine slide, but I won't give myself the opportunity to mention them!

Whatever you do, stick with it. If you feel like program A is not working, then don't quit! Modify the program and keep going. Consistency will pay off, whether you're doing the right thing or not.

Eat more healthy. This is kind of obvious, but start with eliminating SODA and any other junk food. Watch the nutritional content labels for high saturated fat and sugar content. Eat more fruit's, nuts, and veggies.

DRINK A LOT OF WATER! If you're lucky enough to work close to a bathroom, drink water until you're pissing every 10 minutes; seriously. When your body changes and fat decreases, your body needs to get rid of all the toxins in your body. It does that by using WATER as a transport mechanism. If you don't have enough water, your body will simply become more toxic.

Don't kill yourself. Create a schedule that fits your lifestyle. For example, start small by dedicating 30 minutes every day to workouts. Then start doing it twice day (30 min morning, 30 min night) if possible, otherwise just increase your workout time. If you feel REALLY sore the day after working out, give yourself a day's rest and start again the following day. Your body does need time to adjust, so give it time. But at the same time, you should be trying to push your limits. Don't use the soreness as an excuse!

Drink up; you seriously need it!

Drink more water.

Do it.

Our body is made of mostly water. But you knew that already, great. Have you thought about the role that water plays in keeping our body functioning? Without water, we wouldn't exist. I'd say that makes us water-creatures, wouldn't you? Sure, we don't live in water, but we can't venture far from it or else we wouldn't survive. All the functions of our body, from the creation of new cells (which by the way, are constantly dying and being replaced) to the transport of nutrients, to the function of our brain and flow of our blood. Everything that goes on in our body needs water to work the way it should. Continue reading →