Life

There are 73 posts tagged Life (this is page 4 of 4).

Losing Focus Through Association

Where is my focus? Am I focusing on the right thing? Am I putting too much effort in the wrong direction? Am I inadvertently stunting my growth?

These are questions I ask myself quite frequently. I'm not sure when I started asking these questions or even why, but I do know that asking them often leads to recognizing areas of my life where I'm stagnating or where I'm otherwise unconsciously holding myself back or underutilizing my potential (or simply walking in the wrong direction).

The world is full of people who want to tell us how to do things. And I don't think that's bad. I don't think they're doing it with malicious intent: sharing what we know is an innate human quality. I also don't think it's bad to listen to what others have to say: I've grown so much in my life thanks to the advice and experiences shared by others.

But I think there's a danger in following too closely, in listening too intently, in modeling our life too closely around the lives of others. We lose a bit of ourselves through association. If we permanently associate with anything but our true selves, we will easily forget why we're doing things we're doing. We will lose sight of what feels innately important to us.

To really get at the core of what matters, to really focus our energy on growing in the right directions, we need to strip away everything, all the labels, the assumptions, the role models, and the beliefs. 

Who am I? 

When I strip away everything, I just am. And when I approach life from that state, I become a paint brush and everything else becomes the paint. There are no labels, no genres, no niches, no must-haves and have-nots. There are no limitations, no restrictions, no "this is who I am" or "this is who I am not". There just is, and pure potential.

Notes: David Foster Wallace on Life and Work

This article in the Wall Street Journal was adapted from a commencement speech given by David Foster Wallace to the 2005 graduating class at Kenyon College.

Although the concepts are a bit difficult to follow at times, they're incredibly insightful, especially the whole point about how much our perspective influences the way we see the world around us.

There are these two young fish swimming along, and they happen to meet an older fish swimming the other way, who nods at them and says, "Morning, boys, how's the water?" And the two young fish swim on for a bit, and then eventually one of them looks over at the other and goes, "What the hell is water?"

...

If you're aware enough to give yourself a choice, you can choose to look differently at this fat, dead-eyed, over-made-lady who just screamed at her little child in the checkout line -- maybe she's not usually like this; maybe she's been up three straight nights holding the hand of her husband who's dying of bone cancer, or maybe this very lady is the low-wage clerk at the Motor Vehicles Dept. who just yesterday helped your spouse resolve a nightmarish red-tape problem through some small act of bureaucratic kindness.

Of course, none of this is likely, but it's also not impossible -- it just depends on what you want to consider. If you're automatically sure that you know what reality is and who and what is really important -- if you want to operate on your default-setting -- then you, like me, will not consider possibilities that aren't pointless and annoying. But if you've really learned how to think, how to pay attention, then you will know you have other options. It will actually be within your power to experience a crowded, loud, slow, consumer-hell-type situation as not only meaningful but sacred, on fire with the same force that lit the stars -- compassion, love, the sub-surface unity of all things. Not that that mystical stuff's necessarily true: The only thing that's capital-T True is that you get to decide how you're going to try to see it. You get to consciously decide what has meaning and what doesn't.

Lighten Your Life

Life is not an ever-growing collection of successes and failures. It's not a bag of decisions, opinions, mistakes, or mishaps, or a rucksack full of bricks that you're condemned to drag through the sludges of time.

Life is more like the stroke of a paintbrush, emptying itself of all that clings to it and refining its precision with the passage of time. It's the vessel that exists to hold water, effortlessly releasing its contents to the next destination.

It's important to remember that not every destination can be reached by a well-paved path: some destinations require taking flight. When it's time to fly you just can't fill a giant bag with everything in your life and expect that plane to soar.

If where you're going is important, decide what really matters and take responsibility for your freedom. Hold tight to everything and everyone that will support your voyage and let go of everything else. Embrace your essence and when there is doubt let love lighten your load: a life painted in love outweighs a voyage completed unprepared.

This Moment

Close encounters with death are the ultimate reminder that each day, each breath, is indeed a gift, a precious privilege that we must respect and protect, a reminder that each moment is an opportunity to express the qualities we are worthy and responsible for living, qualities of courage, curiosity, compassion, kindness, and creativity; qualities of strength, intelligence, peace, love, and humility.

This isn't an opportunity we can waste. It's not something we can put aside until we have more time. We must use this moment to live with zest, with vigor, and with veracious valor. We must use this moment to express what it means to be a living breathing human being. We must use this moment to live fearlessly responsible for life because the next reminder we get may not leave us with another moment.

The Business of Life

Business is not synonymous with monetary profit. If you're in the rat race, your business is that of perpetuating the rat race and your profit is competitiveness, repetition, and conformity. If you're a couch potato, your business is that of being a couch potato and your profit is weight gain and an unhealthy lifestyle.

Usually you get to choose your business. If you don't want to build houses, you stay out of the business of carpentry. If you don't want to fix computers, you stay out of the business of information technology. If you don't want to live an unhealthy lifestyle and run circles around a cage, then you stay away from the couch and ignore the status quo.

But there is one business we're all running whether we choose to or not: the business of life. In this business, profit is the sustainable balance and welfare of everything that supports life. Since all other businesses rely on life, any business whose profit does not directly contribute to life is, in the long-run, harmful and unsustainable.

In the business of life, monetary profit means nothing. We cannot buy health, happiness, or social equality; we cannot buy a new Earth. In the business of life, we are the most valuable asset. Our value to this business comes from our ability to prioritize time and shape the world around us; to be selfless and compassionate; to put life, social equality, and the greater good of all humanity above everything else.

There is a private space company in the United States and a social enterprise in India, both whose top priorities are not monetary profit. Do they earn money? Yes. But both their founders will tell you that the businesses exist not for making money but for the people. They exist to serve as instruments and vehicles for advancing humanity. Their employees and investors understand and accept these priorities and many are willing to sacrifice personal gain for the greater good.

Whatever your business, shift the focus towards the greater good, towards that which you value instead of what everybody else seems to value. If your business supports other businesses who don't have a focus on life (the rat race comes to mind), then change your business. Instead of thinking in terms of monetary profit, think in terms of life profit. How can you leave a legacy that contributes to the long-term welfare of humanity? How can you contribute more to the business of life?

A Gift from Yesterday

Today creates a world of its own, a world open to redefining what it means to be alive. It's unique from yesterday, not a point in time but rather a canvas stretching from here to the end of eternity, a giant etch-a-sketch wiped clean by the darkness and illuminated by the light of those souls who inspire, move, and motivate us to step forward.

Each day is a small evolution, a bundle of hope and joy waiting to unfold; a new opportunity, a blank slate, a fresh page, and a new chapter in life. But today is special. Today is special because today is a care package handed to us with the same love and compassion that a parent cradles a newborn baby.

Embrace yourself. Right now. It’s okay, no one is watching. Close your eyes and wrap your arms around yourself. Give yourself a big hug. Feel those hands on your back, warm, soft, and gentle. Melt into that embrace.

That person loves you more than anyone ever could. That person will be with you forever, even on your deathbed. That person loves you so much that you're being handed the best gift that has ever been given. The gift of today.

The Circle of Life

“I’m from Germany,” she said with a smile.

“I was seventeen when I got married and I went to visit the United States shortly after that."

The complexion on her face suddenly changed and her smile disappeared. "When I returned home a year later my husband went off to the Korean War.”

There was a pause and she seemed to hesitate with the next few words.

“He never came back.”

“I was a widow at eighteen… so young…” Her voice drifted off into the distance and I could see in her eyes that she was reliving a life that seemed so distant and so far away.

Rosie was in her mid-70s but her beautiful blue eyes and lively attitude made her seem twenty years younger. She sat alone during her lunch break, quietly staring out the window watching people come and go from the store where she worked.

I had been using the cafe in the store as my makeshift office and after making eye contact and exchanging smiles several times, we began striking up random conversations.

Spontaneously sharing deep thoughts about life and the lessons it teaches us, our conversations seemed like an odd interaction between two strangers who were separated by nearly forty years of life experience.

A few days later I went to my sisters' house to hang out with my brother-in-law and my one-year-old nephew. When night fell, we started a campfire in the backyard and brought my nephew out to see it.

In the darkness his face glowed orange and he smiled so big that his tiny teeth shown through. As if witnessing a never ending stream of magic, he looked up at his dad and pointed at the fire in awe.

I've sat around perhaps hundreds of campfires in my lifetime, but my nephew was experiencing one for the first time.

Over the course of his life, how many campfires will he sit around? Since the dawn of mankind, how many times has this process repeated itself?

Listening to Rosie tell her wartime stories had made me realize how much had occurred before I was even born. Now I was looking at my nephew and realizing the exact same thing, only this time I was the older one.

It’s easy to forget that our entire bodily existence is an infinitesimal moment in time, a single raindrop in the sea of eternity. We subconsciously focus on our little slice because it's so much easier to digest. It solidifies the reality around us and makes us feel in control.

But it's important to remember that many others have come before us and that may others will come after us. This greater perspective allows us to see what's real. It allows us to be aware of the precious time we have left and appreciate the things that are really important.

No matter how difficult our situation or how many challenges we may face, there's no point in wasting time soaking ourselves in depression. We all struggle and experience loss, but it's our attitude that determines how we live, not our circumstances.

Watching my nephew stare at that fire, I remembered Rosie's attitude and the important thoughts she left with me.

As if sensing the empathy I felt towards her story, she said in an insistent tone "But life is good!"

“My father-in-law, who I’ve seen perhaps only twice since the war, reconnected with me a few weeks ago. We talked for hours. For so many years we didn’t know each other and now we have so much in common and so many stories to share.”

Her beautiful smile returned. “It’s the circle of life. Everything changes, turns, and loops back around again."

Love and Purpose

What's the ultimate purpose of life? When you strip away everything, what's left?

I looked up from my laptop and stared out the window to watch the final five minutes of the sun set over the city of Boston. As often happens, questions began popping into my head. What did it all mean? The sun, the Earth, the beautiful colors in the sky. What was the point of all this?

There has always been a piece of me that felt my purpose for being here on Earth was not going to involve starting a family, but suddenly I found myself wondering if that was really the case. I started imagining what it would be like to get married and have kids.

Was my stubborn persistence and vow to always follow my heart causing me to miss out on something really important? Was starting a family part of the purpose for existence? Will my life have been worth living if I don't make procreation a priority?

After the last sliver of orange disappeared over the horizon, I returned to my laptop and posed the question on Twitter and Facebook: What's the ultimate purpose of life? Continue reading →