A few hours after arriving in the United States, I tried recording a short video to capture the strange feelings and emotions that I was experiencing, but my thoughts felt too incomplete and scattered. Now that I've had two weeks to process everything, I feel like I can articulate what's going on a little better.
On my last day in India I was taking a taxi to the airport when I felt the driver suddenly tap the brakes. I looked out the front window to find a seven-foot bull strolling up the highway into oncoming traffic.
The cars were all traveling at high speeds but they barely slowed down and instead just swerved around the giant creature. It was as if they were simply avoiding a pothole. That's when I realized that I wasn't even surprised by what I had seen.
The context of the environment in India had become so familiar to me that finding a huge animal in the middle of the highway had become as normal as finding a pothole.
The key to adapting to any unfamiliar environment is understanding the context. If you were visiting a foreign country where you understood very little about the culture or the customs, you'd be forced to consider the context of various unusual events that were taking place.
A cow being allowed to roam freely on the highway in India, for example, might seem really strange at first, but when you understand that many Indians consider cows holy and sacred, it doesn't seem very strange anymore. Once you understand the context, it all makes sense.
Context is an interesting thing. It's a lot like perspective, except it has a much greater affect on our emotions and how we react to various situations. Our understanding of the context quietly influences the way we perceive the world around us.
***
Arriving back home, it was easy to look at things from a different perspective. Instead of allowing myself to reconnect with the familiarity that surrounded me, I put myself in the shoes of an outsider and consciously considered the context of my surroundings.
I tried to figure out why things were the way they were and I questioned the purpose of even the most obvious things. The result of that exercise was everything I wrote in my previous post.
Now, as days turn into weeks and the context of my new environment becomes more and more familiar, I find it becoming increasingly difficult to recognize and feel the unsustainable nature of all the abundance surrounding me. Focusing on the things that truly matter and figuring out where my energy should be focused is also becoming more difficult.
But I think the solution is simple: When we break things down to the absolute essential and really consider the context of our surroundings -- no matter how familiar they may feel -- the things that are important and the things that we should be focusing on begin to stand out; they start to become obvious.
The next time you're upset or feeling frustrated, try immediately thinking about everything in your life that you should be grateful for and see if that changes the way you're feeling.
As you go about your day, ask yourself how the context of your surroundings is affecting the way you perceive the world around you. When you switch context from one physical location to another (from your house to the grocery store for example) do you notice the subtle changes in your moods and emotions?
Raam, Is this an actual transcript of the video? I have trouble with videos ~ internet to Hawai’i is not really great.
I having a little trouble grasping what I’ve read so far. I understand the part about familiarity. Something unfamiliar is far more likely to be unsettling than something familiar.
On the other hand, truth is truth regardless of where we are. It’s easy to get distract, but distraction is different than context. Perhaps, it’s a matter of training the mind to remember truth regardless of the context. Or like you say breaking things down to the absolute essentials.
I remember one of my spiritual teachers talking about his spiritual teacher and the way he didn’t have a concept about anything. He saw everything freshly. That somehow seems connected, but I’m not quite sure how.
You are probably very clear and my mind is probably just muddled!
Hi Sandra,
This definitely isn’t a transcript of the video — and I think without watching the video, the rest of this post is difficult to understand! (It’s a ten-minute video, so a transcript would be rather long!)
I agree that truth is truth, but it’s our perspective that influences the way we interpret that truth, and our perspective is influenced by the context of our surroundings (often to a degree that we cannot even detect). In the few weeks since I’ve returned, I’ve recognized that focusing on how the context is influencing us helps us to see things from a perspective that is closer to the truth.
I was a bit worried that without watching the video the rest of this post would be confusing to grasp, so my apologies! Let me know if there is anything else I can explain or clear up and I will be happy to share. 🙂
Thanks. I see I need to watch the video! Ugh, internet Hawai’i! I suspect we are saying the same thing – we can go beyond context, the first step being to recognize it.
BTW, I apologize if my comment seemed negative. I didn’t mean it that way at all, but then worried about that later.
Thanks!
No worries, Sandra! I didn’t take it as a negative comment at all! 🙂
I totally understand your frustration with slow Internet… I had horrible Internet speeds for most of the six months that I was traveling and I basically avoided videos the entire time. That’s one reason why I always try to write something alongside my videos and it’s also why I prefer to publish text over video. Besides, from a technical standpoint it doesn’t get much more minimalist than plain-text!
Hi Raam
The issue with a lot of us is that we don’t have accurate context in which to see our lives (I wrote lies at first… typo? Bit harsh tho, LOL).
Sadly most of us get our context form the TV news, which creates an artificially hopeless context devoid of preventative solutions. The news is not empowering at all! It makes us want to ignore the global context of our first-world lives, as ‘there’s nothing that can really be done, anyway.’
If human beings encounter enough of the right context, their compassion will spur them to at first despair and angst – but then to positive and proactive thoughts of change. How can I help, really.
Turning off the TV and doing a bit of sight seeing in the real world has got to be one of the best kick-starters out there.
Finding the cause of issues, and implementing their prevention in your own life as an example – is still someone we have to take on as individuals – until we start connecting with the right people.
It can be frustrating. I was a lonely teenager because in my private moments I despaired. Sure, there may have been a few D &Ms, but in my upper-middle-class Catholic mini culture, caring was for social retards.
It took me a decade to really get to the proactive state of being.
Hey Ali,
Thanks for the awesome comment — there’s so much to think about in there!
I totally agree that the media, social stigmas, an elitist society, and news that is constantly making us feel like helping the world is hopeless, causes us to lose touch with our own individual strength. After all, if everyone felt empowered and realized their true potential, where would all the corporations go to prey on people and make their billions?
However, I think that’s a slightly different issue than the one I was trying to pinpoint in this post. What I’ve recognized in the two weeks since returning is that even though I’m still fully aware of the problems in the world and fully aware of my own potential, there’s this “thing” that is tugging on me, slowly trying to convince me to forget about all that and just relax and only worry about myself. I don’t watch TV, don’t read the news, and don’t socialize, so I don’t think any of those are the “thing”. I think the “thing” that is trying to convince me to forget is my own brain!
I think it’s the fact that recognizing the huge change in the context of my environment is becoming more difficult. Every day that passes, India feels less real. Those six months that I was gone feel less real. Maintaining a perspective and emotional connection to that feeling of despair and that feeling of “time is running out” is becoming increasingly difficult.
Recognizing this, I’ve been trying to figure out why returning to “life as usual” in a developed country is so automatic and why it causes us to lose touch with the “real world” even when our whole being wants the exact opposite to happen!
But I think that by just considering the context of everything around us (in a first-world country, that might mean considering the motive behind everything: Why are things orderly? Why are stores so clean? Why are people dressed so nicely? Why are magazines in the stores stacked so neatly?).
When we consider the context, our perspective begins to change and we start to see things for what they really are instead of for what they’re trying to distract us from: reality.
Hi Raam,
I understand how you feel. When my family went to Greece to visit relatives in 1973 I had the same culture shock. Greece was still a developing country back then and it was an eye opener. Coming back to the US I had the same reverse culture shock as you too. And, yes it does fade with time.
We are so lucky to have all we have here. I do agree that all our comforts make the other countries who are so poverty stricken feel very far away. Traveling, like you did, and immersing yourself in another culture is an education many more Americans could use. We here do need to focus more on gratitude for all we have and the quality of the lives we are able to lead.
Hi Angela,
Thank you for sharing your experience. What I find most interesting is how so many people can relate to my experience!
I don’t think we need to accept that those feelings will fade with time. I think we can do more to maintain a global perspective, more to recognize and remind ourselves of our privileged status. I think we can take an active approach instead of a passive approach and I think we have a responsibility to do so! Allowing our perspective to fade ensures that inequality remains prevalent in the world.
We all have the inner strength to overcome the negative and destructive influences that surround us, but we need to make a conscious decision to do so. It’s not going to happen automatically and nobody except ourselves will help us do it (greed makes sure of that).
Raam, thank-you for sharing your affecting video. The sense of the fading “focus” of your India context comes through clearly in a manner that text may not convey as effectively or efficiently. Also, the point regarding TV that Ali brings up above points to the challenge that many of us face in that we are influenced by an artificial context that makes it harder to “see” our own tangible contexts and to connect with the experiences of others.
Hi Greg, thank you for the comment.
The point about the challenge we face is dead on and I think that’s why it’s so important for us to take things into our own hands, on an individual basis. I think that Gandhi’s quote, “Be the change you wish to see in the world”, basically tells us that we need to fight those negative influences and choose to set an example for others to follow. Instead of sitting back and letting things influence us, we need to take a step back, a step outside of what we currently consider “reality”, and see what we can do differently to improve our perspective.
Television is one of those things that I feel provides us very little value with a whole lot of noise (noise that has a primary purpose of influencing us negatively!). I haven’t owned a TV in more than six years and I don’t miss it for one moment (I also grew up without a TV, so it’s probably a little easier for me). News is another thing that I feel is so full of crap. The only way I will get news is when I have control over what I’m reading (online or in the newspaper) and where I can skip things that are obviously wasting my time. With radio and television, you’re forced to endure whatever they’re giving you!
We’re the only ones who can abolish that artificial context and replace it with the real context. We’re the only ones who can do it because at this point in history, greed motivates all. People with control over traditional media and markets are motivated by greed to influence us negatively and keep herding us like sheep for a long as possible (although thankfully, the Internet is changing that and giving us a ray of hope; without the Internet, we wouldn’t even be having this discussion and our thoughts would like go largely unheard).
Raam,that was a great point and I know most of misunderstandings in our world is because of this “Context”.
We may know very little about each other context and I think it’s some thing like a gift to show some body else a new context of life. I do love experience other’s. do you think we can show the context? or some one just can experience it or get it directly from environment? I’m not sure but a way must exist and one day it will comes out from the shadow.won’t it?
Hi Mahsa, thank you for the comment.
I think we can definitely share perspective with others and then using that new perspective others can uncover certain aspects of their surrounding context that wasn’t immediately obvious them. I think my previous post, Homesick in a Strange and Privileged Land, conveyed a lot of perspective. Using that perspective, we can then question certain assumptions about the context that influence our daily decisions.
I don’t think there is any way to really convey context to someone else, at least not with today’s technology. And I think that’s one reason why people can see things in the news about poverty and suffering and not really have it affect them to the same degree that physically visiting those places would have. The television can convey a tiny fraction of the perspective, but it cannot convey the context.
Sharing perspectives is very powerful and that’s what I try to do here. But what we each choose to do with those new perspectives determines how useful they are to us! 🙂
Yeah! Perspective…I got it Raam. I’m definitely agree with you about news and TV. but unfortunately most of people think about and judge things and people and places just upon these ways. what can we do about it? how can we show people that reality is much more different from what they see in TV. transferring perspective is great but obviously it’s not enough any more and that’s why friendship between countries, religions and cultures is flowing away these days. Wars are the symbol of this hiding. Raam I’m sure you see the connection between humans and I can see it too so we have some common perspectives although we have grown in completely different context. there should be something else in this story. I may lost the relation between “Perspective” and “Context”?!!!!
Hi Masha!
Thank you for your thoughtful reply! I think that most wars are waged by a very small selection of our population, people with financial and political power. The majority of people, I think, place their faith in those people and hope they will do the right thing — they take a hands-off approach. Not only that, but I think a lot of people let themselves be herded because it’s easier and more comfortable for them.
We need to take control. We need to choose to empower ourselves individually and then use resources like the Internet to connect and collaborate with each other to shape the world into what we collectively envision it should be. It all starts with believing in the power we each possess and then choosing to do something with that power. That might mean volunteering, blogging, activism, or just spreading the word to those around us and setting an example.
Raam, this is one of the best most heart-felt posts I’ve read (and watched) in awhile. It really brought me back to the first time I traveled to Indonesia. This was also the first time I had traveled abroad and the culture shock was tough. I had never before been face to face with extreme poverty and suffering. It’s one thing to see it on TV but something completely different when it is right in your face. In that moment I realized how lucky I have been to have been born in a country where all necessities are fully met and exceeded. Everything I owned and knew seemed so unimportant when confronted with people who had literally nothing. And yet when I returned after 2 months those feeling all quickly disappeared leaving me with nothing more than distant memories. But it did change me. I became much more aware of the things that are the most important like family & friends and it left me with a deeper desire to travel and see more of this world we live in. Your own reflections in this post open up a whole world of thought and self discovery.
Thank you for sharing your experience, Matt!
I think my biggest worry is that the feelings and experiences will become such distant memories that I’ll lose a lot of the motivation I felt to do something to change it. When the problems are in your face almost every day, it’s difficult not to be reminded what needs fixing in the world, but when you’re constantly surrounded by so much perfection and abundance, those needs become almost invisible and it’s easy to get caught up in only thinking about yourself.
It’s definitely something I need to work on. I love that this awesome community is providing so much support and validation for what I’m going through. Now the trick for me is to create some kind of roadmap, even a short-term one, that will keep me working towards my desired destination. 🙂
I was able to watch the video now, it just takes twice as long on my so called “high-speed” internet access, but that’s an opportunity to practice patience – which I greatly need.
What struck me when watching the video is how we each have a whole lifetime (perhaps lifetimes) of habitual patterns. In Buddhism, habitual patterns are one of the four obscurations that cloud our clear seeing. It takes a long time to change these deeply seeded habits, to wake up, and stay awake.
I’m not surprised that returning to the environment of home you felt like it was your own brain that was tugging on you to forget you new sense of reality. That’s exactly how delusion is working on our mind in every moment. In fact, the fundamental problem is that we don’t see reality how it is and the fundamental challenge is to wake up, and in this context, stay awake. You seem to be having a subtle and powerful experience of how delusion actually works.
I wholeheartedly agree that staying in the present moment is incredibly important as well as not taking anything for granted and being constantly grateful. At the same time, it’s important to begin to see that reality is not the way we think it is in order to really break through.
As always, your posts are deep and heartfelt. Thanks.
What you said about seeing reality is so important. We need to be willing to drop what we currently perceive as reality so that we can begin to discover things for what they really are. Being stubborn and close-minded freezes our potential to experience the real grander and limitlessness of reality.
A stranger in a strange land.
I know exactly what you’re experiencing Raam as I had the same when returning from Canada. I know it’s not that far but everything felt strange because of the complete change of attitude from all those around me.
You’ve peered through the looking glass, ya know? Your story of the bull translates to a lot of things because from the western view it would seem strange to find the animal roaming the roads but over there it’s just another day.
I think the trip in whole does two great things: expands your mind in world culture but then it does recharge your batteries back home because although you may not feel it immediately you begin to see everything that was once familiar in a new light which makes everything exciting.
Btw, your place is amazing – the lake right in the backyard, stunning.
Thanks Murlu. It’s not exactly “my” place — my parents put in all the hard work to get it, not me! 😛 (When they bought the place 29 years ago, it was a tiny cottage with no houses around!)
Regarding travel: I think for some people, regular trips outside of familiarity is really beneficial to keeping our perspective refreshed. I’m really looking forward to my next trip abroad, hopefully sometime early next year!
Raam, I really enjoyed this contemplative post. Not enjoyment in the sense of “wow, this is such fun,” but rather in the sense of, “wow, there is so much wisdom here. I need to listen to the video again and take notes.” What you said about gratitude changing perception is absolutely true.
And, as the mother of two (nearly) grown sons, the mention of you and your dad sharing tea together made me smile. Talk about life’s simple pleasures… 🙂
Thank you, Christianna! I think living in the moment and gratitude go hand-in-hand, so focusing on one automatically gives us a little of the other!
My dad and I don’t do much together, but I really enjoy the little moments we share: breakfast and/or tea, a quick game of chess, a short discussion about some philosophical topic (when I was younger, those discussions could last for hours; now I think we both try to avoid taking up each others’ time!) 🙂
Perhaps we should expand the Eightfold Path to include the cultivation and practice of “Right Context”?
I don’t think this post would have had the same effect if it was words-only. The video adds a lot. Thanks for sharing in that way.
Stay in the moment. Therein could lie the best context we could ever need.
Thank you, Bill.
I’m not sure if there is a “right” context. I think when we’re aware of how the context is affecting our perception of reality, we can understand how to correct our perception. But staying in the moment is absolutely the most important context we could possibly focus on. When we realize that nothing except the moment really exists, staying within the moment is the only thing that really makes sense! 🙂
Hi Raam,
After travelling in Mexico I always remember
that feeling I had at the airport as I got ready to
leave and thought about what I had seen, the experiences I had, the way my assumptions and contexts had changed over the months, between the day I had arrived and that morning when I was about to leave.
Touching down in New York, I felt as if I knew something people didn’t know – and people couldn’t tell, people didn’t seem interested to know – they were so busy and life was so fast & furious, they couldn’t see it & I had so much to say.
And now I couldn’t go to the zocalo and strike up a conversation with strangers sitting on the benches under the
shade and exchange the smiles & gestures that were needed in Mexico to communicate and to be understood and experience that feeling of being together, whoever we were.
It’s easy to go back to “normality” after a while but perhaps by travelling…. well can we bring some of that context back with us, to the people and places we return to, through new choices & new conversations & new ways of communicating?
And by doing that, make some of the difference the people we met along the way hoped we could?
Hi Manhawk,
I think that’s one reason why it’s so important up share our experiences and talk about the new perspectives that we’ve gained.
The problem you mentioned with people around us not really being interested in hearing it is true though. It’s like people just want to be left alone to go about their routines and not do or think anything that might disrupt those.
However, I think the Internet gives us a fresh opportunity. It allows us to connect with the people who DO want to hear what we have to say. By connecting with those people and having conversations (like we’re doing here), we empower each other to use our newly gained insights to inspire and motivate others! 🙂
Hi Raam!
Well, I’m impressed with this video. I love the way in which you described those two different worlds, and the change of your physical appearance, makes see to this video, even more real and with purpose. Very interesting!
Raam, everything in this video has a connection, a true and deep feeling. It shows the reality of a traveler with sense,wisdom and humanity. This huge experience that you lived, is a life lesson, full of gratitude, love, harmony and reality.
Thank you, for let us take a bite of this awesome journey, with this video.
God bless you…
I wish you all the best!
Viviana 🙂
You’re welcome and thank you for the comment, Viviana! 🙂
Sometimes I think video is the only option when it’s so difficult to explain something. At the very least, the feelings and emotions will come through to help express it!
Hi Ram,
You’re a new discovery for me. Great post! Thought-provoking.
Ah, context… I got to experience culture shock moving from the CA Bay Area to where I live now in the mtns. of northern NM. We are very remote (an hour from even the nearest grocery store). Not only was everyone/thing different here, but noone knew me, I could not rest on my laurels, I had to let go of my identity as a software engineer. *Poof*! I did my best to embrace the concept that I am only who/what I am in the moment. My story was gone.
Even now, when I go to the nearest big town, I go thru mini culture shocks. I love my remote canyon and feel “at home” here. Fortunately I do not take its beauty for granted, never have.
Some of what you are saying about the feelings/context slipping away reminds me of when I went to Matrix Energetics trainings. You naturally get into an altered state. Everything is very odd when you get home (in fact, it’s difficult making it home.) Over the next week or so you feel it slipping away.
But something I’ve learned big-time due to major losses is that nothing in this world is permanent. And so, context sensitive states fade as well. It’s a part of the beauty of the human creature’s ability to adapt. It helps us function to sort of normalize on a baseline. Otherwise, we would be constantly in awe! An ant! WOW! Colors! I have control over this thing, oh, it’s my hand! (Kind of like Jill Bolte Taylor in “My Stroke of Insight”.) At least that’s how I see it.
It’s relatively recent that we are all so aware of things that are not part of our own environment, like what you are experiencing with your trip. How will we adapt to that, I wonder?
Oh, and finally, I am actually listening to “What the Dog Saw” by Gladwell and his “Blink” was fascinating. “The Tipping Point” is already on hold. 🙂
Thanks for the great post and video. Best to you.
OOps! And I forgot to say, I think some of what you were feeling there, such as the despair, was probably an empathic connection, like an energetic connection affecting you physically. I went through most of my life before I realized I easily pick up other peoples’ energy like that, even when I’d rather not!
Of course, it sounds like much of it was simply compassion as well. But just wanted to add that thought to your interesting discussion you’ve got going about context, since I think it’s often relevant.
I think I’m done now! 😉
Thank you so much for sharing your perspective, Patti!
I found your observation of “mini culture-shocks” very interesting. It made me wonder if that’s why we love taking vacations so much: They put us through a very mild culture shock that forces us, at least temporarily, to look at the world from a new perspective and see that all our problems aren’t as big as we felt they were. Of course once we return home, that shock is gone and everything returns to “normal”.
What you said about being aware of things that aren’t part of our environment being so new is also interesting. Prior to things like television, radio, telephones, or the Internet, humans only knew about the things that were happening around them. Anything else they learned about was always after the fact and usually through word of mouth.
Now that we’re constantly exposed to other environments (even if we’re not actually in the environment), I wonder if that’s forcing us to learn how to cope with such variation and if our inability to recognize this right away (because it’s not obvious) is leading us to take more things for granted even though there are more things we should be grateful for!
Also, your point about picking up the energies of others around me was dead on. I’ve recognized that I’m very much affected emotionally by the energies around me (even though I’m horrible at interpreting those energies!). I was even diagnosed by a doctor when I was I younger and he told me that I have the very unusual ability to feel certain wavelengths that most humans cannot feel (for example, I feel microwaves standing in front of a microwave when it’s on and I can even feel xrays).
Thank you so much for sharing the thoughtful comment! 🙂
I well remember the mini-culture shock of returning home from vacations as a child. The familiar but shocking smell of your own family home. Is this what our house smells like to visitors? But after the heating comes on and some meal is quickly put together in the kitchen everything slots back into place.
My experience as an adult after moving from the UK to Spain was that the first few times back visiting were very weird indeed. Everything was exactly the same but 6 months had passed by. It was like waking up from a coma. But now a few years later, things have changed enough back there for them not to seem shocking to me. It is becoming a different country, in some ways more foreign than Spain is to me.
Hi Steve,
I can relate with feeling like waking up from a coma! It’s amazing how much those six months of traveling feel like a dream… as if they never really even happened.
Hi Raam, it was fascinating to see the change in you between the two halves of the video. In the first you were so disoriented. That makes sense – you were oriented to India and you were no longer there!
I totally agree that your brain is adjusting even if you don’t consciously want it to. I can’t remember the technical terms, but your brain doesn’t “like” being in shock or disoriented. It wants to save you time and mental energy, because actively living in the moment in a strange environment can be exhausting. It prefers you to be on autopilot a lot of the time, just going through the motions of a task (like how driving or riding a bike becomes almost automatic so you don’t have to think about it much).
I commend you for putting up the good fight against your brain, and remembering what it’s like in other places that don’t have the cleanliness, order, and abundance of the US. 🙂
Hi Jennifer!
Thank you for the explanation! That makes a lot of sense. Humans are creatures of adaptation. We’re designed to adapt to our surroundings and make the most of it. It only makes sense that any sudden change in our environment is going to be a shock to our body.
I think the danger is when our lives get put on autopilot for so long that we forget we’re even living… we get complacent and forget what’s important and what really matters. It’s like someone who has been driving a car for 20 years. They’re so used to driving that it’s easy to forget how dangerous being careless or taking things for granted can be!
There are millions of people or I can say majority of world’s population who don’t know the meaning of “standard of living” still, if you ask them, more than half will say they are lucky to be what they are and how they live. This is my assumption and I may be wrong but my point is that a person who never saw poverty can never understand its meaning and same with those who never imagined “high profile” life will always think their own lives hundred times better than others.
Well, I appreciate your deep thoughts about people and their lives. I believe this was the most wonderful journey of your life Raam.